![]() ![]() ![]() But certain decisions-especially important ones-have to be made by you, the parent.Īt the end of the day, kids need to understand that the family acts as a unit, and the adults are responsible for the decisions. ![]() They can tell you what they like and dislike. But you and your child are not co-decision makers in any realistic way. When you make your child your confidant, you are saying that you and the child are co-decision makers. And then, if you give them consequences for that disrespect, they’re going to look at you as a hypocrite. Remember this: if you make your kid your confidant and disrespect authority figures in front of them, don’t be surprised when they disrespect that authority figure. But I had to follow the rules.”Ĭalling the teacher a jerk in front of your child makes your child your confidant, and that’s ineffective parenting. “Boy, I disliked that rule when I was in school too. Be careful what you say to your child about it.įor example, if you think the teacher’s a jerk for not letting your child chew gum, don’t say so to your child. If parents think teachers are in error, they should keep that to themselves and their peers and deal with the school directly. Don’t Criticize Your Child’s School or Teacher In Front of Your Child Just know that your fifteen- or ten-year-old child can’t be your confidant. If you’re forty years old and you want a confidant, find another forty-year-old. But it’s ineffective because the child is not morally, emotionally, or intellectually prepared to play that role. They want to share with the child how they feel about their grandmother, for example. It’s a very well-meaning trap that parents fall into. ![]()
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